the end is where we start from
by Mistofstars
Summary: Another COE mending-story, how Ianto's death and of all those who've been trapped in Thames House could be averted and what events result from this. (yes, I will post another Gods of Slaves chapter too soon sry...)


Author: Mistofstars

Pairing: Jack Harkness / Ianto Jones

Plot: Another COE mending-story, how Ianto's death and of all those who've been trapped in Thames House could be averted and what events result from this.

Warnings: sad, slash, romance, drama...

Rating: T or 13+

Disclaimer: Neither Jack Harkness or Ianto Jones are mine, they're fictional characters that belong to their author R.T. Davies and the BBC. I don't make money with this, it's all made up.

Author's note: The title of this derives from Jack in the episode in which Tosh and Owen died, after the remnant of the team watches Tosh's video message. And of course I know that UNIT also dealt with the 456 but just in order to arrange the transfer of the children...

***|*|*| The end is where we start from |*|*|***

Jack awoke with a loud gasp, and he saw Gwen leaning over him with a smile. Confused he looked into her face, but she only smiled ever so calmly and stroked along his cheek. Then realization came over him, and he remembered everything. How he and Ianto had faced the 456 in order to deal with them, how the 456 had poisoned the air, how all of the people in Thames House had died. Desperation veiled his face, and tears started to well up in his eyes. Full of grief he looked into Gwen's eyes, knowing what his thoughts implied – that Ianto was dead. But Gwen understood immediately what he was thinking, and she smiled happily and a tear fell from her eyes while she shook her head.

"No, Jack, he's alive. They could save some, he's in a hospital right now", she soothed him and helped him sit up. He grabbed her arm tightly and a bewildered look spread over his face, shock and excitement seized him. Ianto was alive? How was that possible? Quickly Jack looked around, to see where they were at right now; he and some other dead bodies lay on the floor of a gym hall of a school, except from them no other living being was here.

"Can I see him?", Jack heard himself ask absent-mindedly, forgetting about everything else that mattered.

He stood up with a groan, feeling like he had been lying here for ages, his back was stiff, his lungs still ached. Gwen's arm rested on his shoulder, she gave him a serious, concerned look. He stretched himself and his body felt alive again.

"I'm fine", he said feebly and walked with Gwen to the entrance, while she talked to him.

"He's fine, Jack, I told you. We have to concentrate on the 456 now, the government plans to give them the children today, they're already making plans how to collect the children. We have to stop them. Ianto is save for now."

Although Jack's heart ached at the thought of postponing his reunion with Ianto, he knew he had to set priorities, like he had always done. He had to save the world first, then he could go back to Ianto and his own life. Quickly they walked outside and were met by some soldiers who brought them to John Frobisher and his secretary. The soldiers accompanied them to the meeting point and Gwen told Jack what exactly had happened after he had lost consciousness and died. She answered Jack's questions quietly and with rapidly spoken words.

"It was UNIT who saved our asses. We saw on the camera footage that they arrived there just in the right moment, right after Thames House started to lock down. They overwrote the alarm system easily and opened the entrances, then they freed everyone in the building, brought them outside and provided them with oxygen and an antidote. I arrived there when people started to wake up again, still poisoned, but alive. I verified myself then and UNIT explained everything to me. Seems like that Doctor of yours gave UNIT instructions a few days ago what they should do, so they were there just in time. Of course, some people died, but the majority is recovering by now."

Jack let out a little laugh of relief and surprise.

"The Doctor, of course. I might have known. A bit late but still better than never", he grinned.

They entered the room and met Frobisher and his right-hand Bridget. During their argument Jack felt more and more convinced that they had not much of a choice by now, that the government and the army was in charge meanwhile, and so much stronger than the two of them. He convinced Gwen to give in and let the others deal with everything, so she phoned Rhys and told him to surrender. Secretly he wondered if there was absolutely no way to stop the coming capitulation. He had always found a way, but now his head was empty, without any brilliant thoughts at all. All he knew was that he could never really give up, he had to find a solution. He had made the mistake to bargain with the 456 once, he wouldn't allow the same mistake again. He only had to think a little longer, although he knew there was not much more time now.

He almost begged John Frobisher to let Gwen go home; he wanted her out of his way. He had understood by now that he had to be more careful, he had risked Ianto's life and only by accident had he been saved. Jack didn't want to risk the lives of his friends and beloved any longer. Also, Gwen could save Ianto's nephew and niece and as many children as possible while he tried to find an answer to the given problem. He whispered in her ear his wish and she nodded almost unseen.

It was an absolute impudence when the policy arrested Jack (Torchwood had always been above the police and the government), and it underlined Jack's helplessness all the more, but he was too exhausted and too worried to struggle or to care about it. The world was facing its downfall and he didn't really know how to stop it. He spent his time in the concrete cell thinking as hard as he could, trying to see what he had overlooked all the time. He knew time was running away, in less than two hours millions of children would be handed over to the aliens, never to return again. Where was the Doctor now? He would know what to do.

Suddenly there was a deafening noise in the hallway and black-clothed soldiers stormed his cell and brought him out, took him to who-knows-where. They didn't say a word, didn't explain a thing, just brought him to the top of the building where a helicopter landed. He couldn't know that his daughter Alice had persuaded the secret task force to get him for help. They flew directly to an army building in which he met Alice and Steven. The female leader of the force called Johnson explained Jack why he was here, she wanted him to fight the 456 with wavelengths and with the help of a scientist called Dekker.

When they came to the point of finding a solution, and a child was needed to be sacrificed, Jack refused Dekker's suggestion to use Stephen as a transmitter resolutely. Why should he always be the one to sacrifice everything he loved for people who didn't even know about it, who didn't deserve to be saved in the first place? Also, he couldn't do that to Alice. The bond between them had only started to tighten, he didn't want to lose that again. They still had a little bit of time left. He refused and told the soldiers to go into a hospital and find a child that was about to die, that had a disease, like leukaemia for example, and to bring him or her here as quickly as possible. He felt Alice hugging him from behind, her arms around his waist. Johnson gave him an unnerved gaze, but Jack ignored it. He had to start making the right decisions, and now the time for them had come.

…

It was so much easier that the little girl wasn't conscious; she was laying on the cold ground in her hospital clothing, like an innocent young angel dressed in white, on her way to heaven. Jack had been told she was in coma for months now, after she had suffered an inherited brain bleeding. She did move and scream though, when he started the wavelengths, and when they resounded in her head and her mouth. He couldn't stop the tears when the girl's eyes opened and blood was running out of her nose and her ears, dyeing her flaxen hair, and when her little body started shaking violently. Alice held Stephen in her arms and made him look away, even though he was also screaming like all other children outside in the world. Finally, the girl became silent and died, and Stephen stopped screaming also. There was an incredible, scary silence, and all looked at each other, their glances filled with hope and fear. Then they received the message that the 456 had died and disappeared in a flash of fire, escaping to the galaxy, and deafening cheers erupted in the hall.

…

Jack sat next to Ianto, who lay in his hospital bed, and held his sleep-warm hand. Ianto was still unconscious, a respiration apparatus helped him to breathe and to increase the oxygen saturation of his blood, which was still too low. The remnants of the poison lingered in his body, but he was quickly getting better. Jack observed him extensively – his skin looked less pale, his breathing deepened, the warmth was returning to his body. With a melancholic smile Jack bent over him and kissed his forehead gently. He tried to shake off the events of the last days, all cruelties that had happened to him and the team, but he couldn't forget it all so soon.

He didn't care so much for all the children he had saved, he cared more for the safety of Alice, Stephen, Gwen, Rhys and most of all: Ianto. He was so glad they were all alive, all rescued. Within the last days Jack had understood that he couldn't bear to live without them, he would be completely at a loss. He still couldn't believe he hadn't told Ianto before what he meant to him. That he couldn't return the three words he had given him when they thought he would die. He would make it all up to Ianto a soon as he could. He couldn't risk to lose him again, whether to death or to another man or woman. Jack yawned and felt the huge tiredness within his body and mind. He pillowed his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. He would stay here and wait for Ianto's awakening.

…

It was evening when Jack woke up again, his neck was stiff but he felt rested and awake. The bedside lamps were the only light sources in the quiet room; with tired eyes Jack looked at Ianto and saw that the respiration apparatus was gone, only the monitor beeped quietly in the background. Ianto was awake too, lying in bed motionless, observing Jack with a calm smile. Jack grasped his hand, and tears of joy welled up in his eyes. He was so grateful to be able to look into those beautiful eyes again. His heart felt lighter, he felt soothed. Ianto's beautiful smile made him forget all his sorrows, all the grief of the last days. He felt Ianto's hand in his, how their fingers intertwined.

"Hey...", Ianto whispered and his voice still sounded hoarse, suffocated. Jack got up and sat down on the bed to Ianto's side, he couldn't help but reach out for him, to touch his colourless cheek, to stroke along the stubbly skin. Ianto's eyes wandered over Jack's face wildly, looking at him confused. Jack saw the change in Ianto's face, his eyes – he was so calm, so composed... He guessed he had reacted the same way after he had come to life again for the first time, after he had thought he would have died. Once you have said goodbye to everything, it is a strange feeling to return to the living, to start all over again. Jack looked down in Ianto's face and slightly bend over him, he sighed and smiled, and Ianto responded with his own smile, but it wasn't quite as happy or quite as honest as Jack's.

"I'm so glad you're alive...", Jack mumbled and allowed his fingers to run through Ianto's hair. Ianto closed his lids and leaned into the tender touch, enjoying it visibly.

"Me too... but to what did I wake up to? I haven't heard a thing..:", Ianto replied, and Jack understood why he couldn't return his happy smile – he was still worried about the 456 and the children of this planet. Jack gave his forehead a little kiss, then he sat up straight and told Ianto what had happened. Moved Ianto looked out of the window to hide his tears from Jack, but he took Jack's hand and held it in his. Jack knew Ianto accepted him, even though he had done terrible things in the past and even though he sometimes still did them nowadays. He had killed an innocent girl today for the sake of million other children. He knew it was pointless to blame himself, because he had acted for the greater good, but the blood was still on his hand, and he was the one to live with the memories of guilt.

Finally Ianto's eyes rested on Jack's again, and Ianto blushed, the longer they looked at each other. Jack saw his chest rising and falling quicker, Ianto's fingers against his back of the hand felt shaky. A nervous smile graced Ianto's lips.

"Can we just go home, please...", he asked quietly, and it broke Jack's heart to hear the need for intimacy and privacy in Ianto's voice. He also wanted to do nothing more but hold Ianto, sleep next to him, feel his body in his arms. After this week everything had changed. He would never ever let him go again.

…

Half an hour later Ianto and Jack were in a cab from London to Cardiff – Jack didn't care about the overpriced costs for the drive, he didn't want to fly now or take a train. All he wanted was to return to Cardiff in silence and just with Ianto, no one else, no other annoying, loud people. The driver didn't speak throughout the ride; it didn't take long and Ianto fell asleep, his head pillowed on Jack's lap, and Jack put his arm around Ianto's torso to steady him. The silver light of the stars and the moon fell through the back window and beautified Ianto's sleeping, calm features. His sight cut right into Jack's heart and made it melt with love and affection. He couldn't put into words how glad he was that Ianto was still alive, still with him.

…

Ianto awoke reluctantly when Jack shook his shoulder slightly; he helped him out of the cab and closed the door. Of course Ianto didn't have the key to his apartment any longer, he was bereft of it since the hub had exploded, but fortunately the caretaker had spare keys. The grumpy old man didn't even say an impolite word when he saw the state Ianto was in; he was still weak and Jack almost carried him in his arms to make him stay upright. They thanked the caretaker and Ianto didn't protest when Jack flung him over his shoulder to carry him upstairs, he even laughed quietly.

Not many words did they speak in the following hours, both of them were too upset emotionally, too worn out through the last days and the up and downs of their relationship in the meantime. It didn't bother Ianto when Jack let hot water run into the bathtub and started undressing Ianto gently and with cautious touches. Ianto felt suddenly so special to Jack, as if he was finally really seeing him, as if he was finally completely aware of him. He took Jack's hands before they could unbuckle his belt and held them still. He looked thoughtfully into Jack's face and withstood the piercing intense gaze, although it aroused him immensely.

"What changed you? You're... different", he heard himself state softly, and Jack smiled thereupon. His hands framed Ianto's face, Ianto saw him coming closer, lips approaching his; he smelt Jack's wonderful scent, and his heart began to flutter violently; his lids almost shut when he breathed Jack in, intoxicated with love.

"You. It was you who changed me."

The words left Ianto speechless and filled him with an inner joy he could not explain, but it felt warm and good and as sweet as heaven. Ianto let Jack kiss him then, and he got lost in the softness of his lips, the dominance and skilfulness with which Jack made Ianto's knees tremble, with which every thought of resilience died away. He let himself fall into Jack's arms and his hands responded to Jack's touches, soon his fingers were stroking over Jack's body hungrily, demandingly. It felt so good to be close to each other again, to share endearments without time pressure. Breathless they ended their kisses and Jack rested his forehead against Ianto's, held his arms still around Ianto's back. Ianto kept his lids closed and focussed on the warmth of Jack's fanning breaths against his wet lips, on the sound of his breathing. He heard his own heartbeat throbbing loudly in his ears, felt the burning hot blush upon his cheeks.

"I love you", he heard Jack say; he opened his eyes and looked deeply into Jack's, incredulous. As much as he had wanted to hear those words from Jack for such a long time, he knew how much Jack had been afraid to say those words. Both of them smiled shakily, and Ianto saw the vulnerability in Jack's eyes, the revelation of his soul and his fears. He wouldn't hurt Jack. He wouldn't abuse his feelings. There was no reason to be scared any longer. He saw his own hand stroking Jack's hair gently, and Jack closed his lids, focussing on Ianto's simple caress.

"I love you too", he replied and Jack's face seemed reassured, calm now.

A few minutes later Jack had undressed Ianto and put him into the bathtub; he was now bathing him with fond touches and little smiles. In his eyes shone a joy Ianto had never seen so strong before. He couldn't help but feast on those eyes, those lips, this handsome man sitting on the edge of the tub, feeling dumbstruck. Finally Jack pulled the plug and towelled Ianto, then he led him to his bedroom and let him don some boxers. He kissed him fleetingly on the lips and grinned at him.

"Go to bed... I'll quickly take a shower, then I come too."

Ianto was only too pleased to accept Jack's proposal; he lay down on the bed and felt the soft mattress underneath, his pillows, his blankets – home. He looked outside the window into the night and thought about the last week, but mostly about Jack. He found himself smiling dreamily; he couldn't remember when he had been in love ever so much. The thought of Jack made his toes tickle, his stomach turn over, his head dizzy, his heart stumble... At last Jack returned to Ianto's bedroom, as naked as God made him, with a wry smile on his face, the ever so subtle seductive gaze in his eyes. Ianto grinned sheepishly at him.

"A sight for sore eyes", he said and Jack lay down next to him. Ianto lifted the blanket and covered them. Jack put his arms around Ianto's stomach and snuggled up to him. Ianto took a deep breath, then he turned his head and saw Jack's closed lids, heard his heavy breathing. His lover was almost asleep again.

"Jack...", he whispered, not sure if the man could still hear him.

"I know it sounds silly but I need to know where we're standing right now, you know? I mean... I can't wait for you forever. Or well... I could, but it would break me...", he quietly confessed, hoping Jack would get him. He felt Jack's fingers digging into the skin over his hipbone, as if he wanted to hold him as tight as possible.

"We're a couple, Ianto, and I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to say this... but I'm here now, and I'll stay with you as long as you want, as long as we can. I'm sorry for all the stuff I've put you through..."

Ianto smiled although tears came to his eyes again. He felt so upset, so unsure, and yet so happy...

"I thought you hated the word couple?", he asked dead-panned, what made Jack chuckle.

"Bollocks. I was a fool, that's all."

"Yeah, well, I forgive you", Ianto smiled jokingly, making Jack laugh heartily.

…

Within the next weeks everything started to normalize again. Jack was living at Ianto's for now, and even though he had promised Ianto it was only a temporary thing both of them secretly knew he wouldn't move out too soon. They had begun to like being around the other, to spend their days together. It was nice to have someone to come home to, to fall asleep cuddled up, and to wake up next to each other. Jack felt blessed that he had a second chance with Ianto now, that he could make everything right this time. Their bond seemed to strengthen with each passing day, and even though he had been afraid to commit himself completely to someone again, he realized he had forgotten how wonderful it could be to share his life and heart and mind with someone you loved.

One day he had travelled to the Royal Household to meet the Queen – after all Torchwood had been initiated by the Queen, and he wondered what they were supposed to do now. He came back to Ianto with a wide grin on his face – Gwen and Rhys were there too, awaiting the news curiously.

"We're getting a new hub, they've already started building it. Her Majesty was already wondering why it took me so long to pay Her a visit", he announced, and shouts of cheers drowned his voice. Soon he felt Ianto hugging him, then Gwen came and hugged both of them, and soon all of them started laughing happily. With a tender smile Jack held them in his arms as tight as possible, thanking the Gods or whomever he had to thank for having all he needed and all he loved.

The end was where they would start from again.

**THE END**


End file.
